Chosing the right therapist

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard a client say,
“My doctor told me I need [insert any trending therapeutic modality],”
or
“My child’s pediatrician said to find a therapist who does xyz.”
or
"I have (insert any diagnosis) and need (insert any modality)."

I’d be sipping a piña colada on a white sand beach by now.

While it's great that more people are talking about mental health, the constant rise of new trends can sometimes make it harder to distinguish between what’s genuinely helpful and what’s just the latest fad and can make finding the right therapist seem daunting.

Therapy trends and modalities come and go. Once upon a time, the “gold standard” for treating depression was a lobotomy or electroshock therapy. These days, words like EMDR, Somatic Therapy, Internal Family Systems, and The Gottman Method swirl through conversations—whether picked up from a TikTok reel, a podcast, or straight from the mouth of a well-meaning doctor. And while many of these modalities do offer something valuable, what people often don’t realize is that these “latest trends” aren’t really all that new and often draw from previous models and existing modalities.

Take Internal Family Systems (IFS), for example—IFS draws heavily from psychodynamic theory and parts work, which itself is rooted in Jungian psychology. Somatic Therapy—while it’s having a big moment right now, it’s deeply rooted in practices that have been around for decades, like Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing and body-oriented psychotherapy from the 1970s. Even before that, pioneers like Wilhelm Reich were exploring the mind-body connection. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)—it’s often hailed as a groundbreaking method for trauma recovery, but its roots go back to the work of Francine Shapiro in the 1980s, inspired by cognitive behavioral therapy and some elements of exposure therapy. The idea of processing distressing memories through movement isn’t exactly revolutionary—it just got a fresh name.
These ideas aren’t new—they’ve just been rebranded with a sleeker label.

Trends change quickly and a well-trained therapist isn’t married to one single modality. They draw from a variety of approaches, integrating tools based on you—your personality, your history, your goals, your pace. A good therapist doesn’t plug in a technique because of a diagnosis; they listen, adapt, and tailor their approach to what actually supports your healing.

When choosing a therapist, here are a few things to consider:
Does the therapist specialize in the area you’re seeking support in? (Anxiety, trauma, parenting, etc.)

Do you feel comfortable with them?

Are they licensed and experienced? Training matters, especially with complex issues.

But here’s the real truth:
The most powerful predictor of therapeutic success is the relationship between client and therapist.

A study by Norcross and Lambert (2011) found that the therapeutic relationship—aka the trust, connection, and collaboration between therapist and client—is more important than any specific treatment method when it comes to outcomes.

Why?
Because healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in relationship. A good therapeutic relationship creates safety, and safety creates the foundation for vulnerability, honesty, and deep work. You can have the most cutting-edge modality in the world, but if you don’t feel seen, heard, connected or understood? It won’t land.

A therapist should be someone who…
Helps you feel safe but also gently challenges you

Listens deeply and without judgment

Is well-trained, ethical, and transparent about their work

Encourages your autonomy and growth—not dependency

Practices ongoing self-awareness

Understands that healing isn’t one-size-fits-all

Empowers you!

So here’s our advice if you’re searching for a new therapist:
1) Browse therapist profiles on Psychology Today or your local practice websites. Look for someone whose bio resonates with you.

2) Book a consult—most therapists offer a free call so you can ask questions and feel things out.

3) Try a few sessions. Therapy isn’t an instant fix. It takes time, and sometimes you won’t feel better before you start feeling… everything. That said, if something feels off, don’t hesitate to try someone new.

4) Avoid large corporate therapy mills like BetterHelp, Rula, Alma, Grow, Thriveworks, or Lifestance. These platforms are large corporations ruining the mental health industry often prioritize volume and profits over quality, burn out their therapists, and treat clients like numbers. (More on that in a future post.)

Trust your gut. You are the expert of your own experience. If something doesn’t feel right, honor that.

Trends will come and go. Healing doesn't happen with buzzwords or any one modality but in the space between two people committed to the work of healing. Look for someone who meets you there—with flexibility, humility, and the tools to walk alongside you.